Spring cleansing

"... if people suffered, they suffered in beautiful language, not in monosyllables, as we did in Kansas." Langston Hughes


To be kind. After all, liebe ist für alle da. That's probably why the van is there. A new schedule. 'TOMAS.' Big on blue. Used to pylons, things. Not used to being in quotation marks. Trying to do being kind, now.

Being kind. All the suddenly open shutters. Graffiti being removed. Cars being towed. Wondered, earlier, if I should raise the alarm with neighbours about that, or if that'd be creating an alarm. The possibility of state-sponsored graffiti. Final nails. There's now no excuse for not being available, you need to be as sociable as you can be, for the work, always online, contactable. Shopping as a necessity, as a thing that you have to do, to have an excuse to leave confinement. I'm shopping now, actually. To escape the complacency of home. To come to terms with my generally reduced levels of anxiety.

Wondering what's in everyone's rubbish. Not looking too closely - but it is just gloves. There's noone hanging around on street corners; alleys appear newly tempting. Complacency. False kindness. Hate crime's probably gone down.

~

I caught a sunburn, through the window. I don't matter - I'd invite you to hold me, or touch me, like a glance, for five minutes, but I haven't felt clean lately, and I'd wince, and it'd hurt you. I promise I'd hurt you. Stay clear?

~

It's too early to alternate to outside again. The plague can live for a long time in the souls of the elderly.

~

But if I went outside. If I walked to the common, to the picnic area / murder area. Would that be necessary? Would it be unnecessary, if I wanted to do it, and would be unhappy otherwise, or perhaps even murderously unhappy?